When to Fight and When to Run

Do you ever wonder if you're ready for a fight? I'm not necessarily talking about a fist fight, but the battles that you face every day.

Maybe you have been in a battle to close a deal. Maybe you have been in a battle with your boss. Or with your spouse. Or with yourself.

It's not usual for us to either put ourselves into a fight or simply get pulled into a fight. So what do you do in either circumstance?

Well, at the point of the fight, there's not much you can do except, well, fight. Whatever you know and whatever you can figure out is what you have to get through the fight. So, in essence, if this is the first time you've thought about the fight, then you can expect to get whipped, particularly if your opponent trained or prepared for the fight. In this situation, sometimes it is just better to run. Run as fast as you can.

But I am much more of a "root cause analysis" type of guy. Maybe it is because in my career my clients have demanded that I provide them with a RCA if something goes wrong. So when I think about being dragged into a fight and facing failure, I have to look back and see how prepared I was to fight. If I haven't been preparing, then I am solely responsible for the outcome, which is likely defeat.

Because you never know when a battle will arise - at home, at work, at church - you must always be prepared for a battle. You must always be training. You must make the personal investments to make sure you can fight effectively. If you continue to invest in preparation, you will know how to fight, what to fight with, and what your opponent's likely reaction will be and what your reaction should be.

Start training today. Be ready for the fight so you don't have to run.

Why Exceeding Expectations is Dangerous

OK. First, let me say that like most bloggers, I will probably be posting relatively frequently in the early days. I don't know what will happen after a few weeks if I will still post; maybe I'll be all empty of thoughts. So, for now, enjoy reading these updates!

When I was studying for my PMP (Project Management Professional) exam back in 2003, one question that came up test was related to the goal of a successful project. I was always told that the goal of an endeavor is to exceed your end client's expectations. Give them more than they ask for and they'll be happy, right? Well, if you answered the test that way, it would be wrong. In fact, according to the materials as well as a PMP colleague I had at Yahoo! that I respect a lot, your goal should be to MEET the expectations of the client.

Now, initially I thought that this was a bunch of hogwash and was about as relevant as following all of the steps outlined in the PMBOK (Project Management Book of Knowledge). But the more I thought about it, I became intrigued and wondered, "What would happen if every vendor I have ever worked with met my expectation?" The answer for me was that I would be ecstatic. Why? Well, because most of the time it's a struggle just to get people to do what they say they are going to do. I get sick to my stomach thinking of all the people that have let me down in business over the years, and I am pretty confident that they didn't set out to do that.

See, I think the reason a lot of people (and companies) want to exceed expectations is because they are afraid that they won't have our loyalty if we don't "get something free", which is pretty much what exceeding expectations is. But the truth of the matter is that people want one thing: say what you do, then do what you say. I gladly (well, maybe not gladly) pay my bills to the electric company and the gas company for the service they provide. I don't expect them to give me something for free in order for me to continue to use them. They promise to provide me a service, they do, and so I pay. If they do decide to give me something free, then that's fine and dandy; but it doesn't change my decision about whether to use them or not.

My previous boss and friend once expressed that switching costs for people are extremely high; if not financially high, the hassle factor is high in and of itself. His point was that people don't leave a vendor for no reason; they usually leave because their expectations aren't being met. He was absolutely right, and we constantly tried to find ways to make sure we were meeting our customers' expectations. I would be hard pressed to find an example of where a customer left a vendor that was meeting their expectations. Loyalty comes from an integrity-based relationship. Again, say what you do, and do what you say.

Now, in order for this to work, this key element of "expectations" must be resolved. So the question is how to set those expectations. Where many companies and individuals go astray is that they put the onus of setting expectations primarily on the client. I liken this to giving my nine year old my credit card and telling her, "Why don't you figure out the clothes you need and the toys you want, and just go buy them". OK, maybe that's an extreme, but as much as clients might say they know what they need, you must consider that if they did know what they need, why do they need you? They probably don't, or if they do, they only need you to "turn wrenches" for them. But even in those circumstances, if you're turning the wrenches the way they tell you to, and if they told you wrong and you even knew they told you wrong but you did it anyway, guess who is going to get the blame. YOU! I saw it happen time and time again, and no matter how many times you told the client that you did what they asked, it won't matter.

So, the best approach is to set expectations together. Since most business engagements require participation and contribution from both sides (at the most basic level, someone paying someone else for some service), it's best to come together and agree on what those expectations and outcomes should be. Then, hold each other accountable to those expectations. It's very easy for both sides to "forget" certain details of expectations or to add additional "understood" expectations to the mix. But with proper communication, documentation, and follow-through, it's less likely that "scope creep" will occur. If scope creep should rear its head, you can very easily go back to your mutual expectation setting session and reassess and/or change the engagement for everyone's benefit.

I know that my thoughts here are somewhat controversial; in fact, there have been many that have questioned the practicality of what I have written here. All I know is that I have seen both theories - meeting expectations and exceeding expectations - play out, and I have always had happier clients when I've met the expectations that we have mutually defined versus trying to hit some undefined elevated mark. I mean, think about it. Once you've exceeded someone's expectations, what do you do the next time. Go higher? OK, then what? Go higher again? Pretty soon you've set yourself up to where you cannot practically (and perhaps financially) meet that customer's expectations.

You want to build your business based on integrity? Consider Barron's Business Dictionary definition:

Quality characterized by honesty, reliability, and fairness, developed in a relationship over time. Customers and clients have much more confidence when dealing with a business when they can rely on the representations made.

Now go out there and start meeting expectations!

Aaron

Building a Strong Foundation

Many of you know that we have recently left the church where we have attended and served for the past 16+ years. This was a very hard decision for us to make, but it was the right thing for us, and frankly, the right thing for the church.

In any event, we’ve been visiting different churches over the past five months and have heard some great messages. I think we’re close to choosing a congregation to affiliate with, which will be nice since we have been in WAY TOO MUCH transition in the past year. So, I wanted to comment on a message I heard last Sunday, and it’s from the passage in Matthew 7 about the wise builder and the foolish builder.

For those of you not familiar with the story, Jesus contrasts two different house builders – one who took the time to find a spot that had solid rock foundation underneath it, and one who skipped that step and just build on a less than stable foundation, sand. Even if you haven’t heard or read the story, you can imagine what the outcome of these two houses were. Both were built lavishly with the best of furnishings on the inside and the nicest exterior lighting and landscaping. And then storms came, and these two seemingly identical houses had completely different fates. The house that had the solid foundation withstood the brunt of the storm. It likely lost some shutters, maybe had some trees fall, and may have even lost a couple of windows. But, it was still likely livable and didn’t suffer any structural damage.

The other example, of course, didn’t fare as well. Not only did it suffer cosmetic damage, but the force of the storm caused the whole house to collapse. Reminds me of years ago when the houses on the cliffs in Malibu, CA started sliding down the hill. The foundation underneath was not as solid as it once was, so as it deteriorated, the constant pounding of the rains caused the foundation to give way. No matter how much the homeowners did to make the house look nice, it was still doomed to collapse.

I really think this analogy applies to every part of our life. I was having a conversation a few weeks ago with a friend of mine who’s marriage was in trouble. As I began to think about the issues that he and his wife were facing, I couldn’t help but wonder what their foundation was built on. Now, clearly the foundation that I believe in is that of Christ, but even outside of that, I really wonder for those marriages that fail if they really invest in building their relationship on “solid ground”. Because the storms will come, no matter what. As much as you fix up the way your marriage looks on the outside and even try to make the inside look pretty, as soon as a storm comes, you can either be putting shutters back on, cleaning up debris and rebuilding, or you can find yourself having your family completely demolished and faced with whether you even want to build on that same spot again.

Apply the same analogy to personal life, corporate life, and any of your relationships, and it really causes you to think not if you’re investing, but rather how and where you’re investing.

Get some concrete, some jacks, and shore up your foundation. There will be plenty of time to pick out paint colors and replace cabinets.

Peace.