Generosity Redefined

After going through what has probably been the most financially devastating time for my family this past 18 months, I find myself somewhat disgusted with how that sequence of events has sought to destroy what I consider to me at the root of my soul (or maybe what I want it to be).

My pastor, Andy Stanley (whom I have never actually met, but still give him that place in my life right now) recently spoke about balance in life. With so many competing priorities, it can be very difficult to not overcompensate in one area (work, finances, golf, etc.) at the sacrifice of another (for most men, it's family, our spirituality, and brotherhood). Which I get all that. I must admit my frailty in operating the balance scale in the right manner, or even desiring to do so.

I think it has a lot to do with fear. As soon as I stop focusing on the things that satisfy my worldly wants and needs, then, well, my world becomes at risk. So, the path that I choose is to ensure that those things remain uncompromised. So what if I miss a school performance or a dance. Will my wife really mind that I didn't call her back right away? Does it really matter that I didn't follow-up with my friends that reach out to me for counsel, friendship, and a glass of pinot noir? Does it really, truly, make me less of a believer in the Almighty if I don't spend time daily with Him?

Well, yes, it does...matter.

Some of it I suppose has to do with where I know I have unconditional love and forgiveness. My wife and kids love me and will, I believe, forgive me when I fail them. My God is so used to be failing Him by now, but I also know that His promise is around forgiveness and unconditional love. My friends - true friends - also are willing to be patient with me.

The rest of the world? Well, it's hard to say. After you've been cheated, lied to, laid off, stolen from, and spit out of, you get much more skeptical about how much the world cares for you. In fact, I'd say it's safe to say that the world doesn't.

So, why then do I have such a tendency to protect that which will never truly love me at the expense of that which does unconditionally?

Because I am a confused, sinful, and fearful man. That kinda sucks.

Oh right...I'm supposed to be talking about generosity. Well, those of you that know me know what my passion is: Helping People Find Their Way. I've tried to live by that since my self-discovery of it years ago. Generosity is a big part of making my passion a reality. Not just financial generosity, but generosity with my time, my heart, my prayers, and my compassion. Lately I've been so consumed with reconstructing our "world life" and finances that I've neglected my passion. And it's left me feeling empty inside. Now I know why.

Andy asked this very simple question: "When it's time for you to be generous, who wins - American Express or God?" Well, recently I'm not proud of my answer. But in order for me to get back to the place of balance in my life, and living a Life of Passion, I must change the scales and focus on ensuring that my generosity is never swallowed up by my fear.

Wish me luck!

Because if I truly