Generosity - One For the Kids

A few weeks ago, I had the opportunity to be in Las Vegas and stay at the amazing Bellagio. I hadn't been there since 2003, when MGM was a client of mine at Yahoo!, and was utterly amazed at this place. And I didn't even watch the water show.

On my first morning there, I went to have breakfast at Cafe Bellagio. Being on my own, I straddled up to the counter and grabbed one of the few empty seats. After ordering what would later be remembered as an amazing breakfast, I sat back and began to read the local paper. Sitting to my right was a man, and next to him was an attractive woman that I can only estimate was on his list for the day's flirting, Vegas style. The two of them were engaging in very light conversation for a while, and then somehow the conversation turned when the woman started talking about her recently departed father.

She was recounting her father's struggle with cancer, and her struggle in growing up with a father who never loved her in the way she wanted. Despite years and years of "putting herself out there" and summarily getting slapped down, her father would never meet her expectations and desires for loving her. So what was her insufferable demand of the family patriarch?

A simple, "I love you".

That's right. All this woman wanted was for her father to say those three little words, particularly after she had uttered the same to him first. However, for some reason this father decided that he could not do that for her little girl. Finally, on one of his last days, as she normally would, told him that she loved him. And then she started to walk out. After all, why would this day be any different than the thousands of others that preceded it.

"Wait a second...come back over here for a moment please."

What? Oh, he must need something else. Maybe some water or for me to change the channels on the TV. So she walked back over to her father's side as he lay in bed.

He then said, "You know I've always loved you deeply. I just don't, you know, say those types of things". She replied, "I know, Daddy. Thank you for saying it now, though."

Three days later he died.

I couldn't help but think about how selfish this father was to her daughter. Sure, I am sure he provided for her. I am sure he never physically abused her. But when it came to being generous with his love in a way that would be utterly meaningful for his daughter, he chose instead to be selfish and greedy. Would it have been hard for him? Would he have rather done something else? Of course, but then, that's what generosity is. It's giving something that we have up for someone else, without any strings attached.

So, I'll go ahead and make a call out to all my friends who are dads. Tell your kids you love them. Tell them often. Tell them even when they roll their eyes at you and say, "DAAAAD! Don't embarrass meeee!!!" Because it doesn't matter whether you want to or not, or whether it's comfortable for you or not.

And that's because it's not about you.

That's the indicator of true generosity...